song of summer

'you can sleep in September'  - Casey Neistat

Nubble

we laugh

this week...we made calloused feet as we said 'no' to shoes in the cool mornings.  That small decision would shape our day...shape our minds as we walked out into summer without lacing up and becoming leather tramps.  A sense of freedom washes in with the tide, and then...draws us out toward the sea.  We feel the vulnerability of vagabonds, releasing our ties and our ability to be held in the sway of a work week. This is summer.  This is vacation. And now every step must be carefully selected, as the 'souls' of our feet finally have a chance to be part of the story.  They have been waiting...and can now actually lead.  But our gate and pace is halved, and a more mindful tale becomes etched in the sand.


  

we love

our edges are also exposed, as the subtle curves of our shoulders seek the sun.  Sleeves are considered low brow this week and the dresser drawers of our cottage bedroom are a mess of tank tops, sun dresses, jerseys, and cover ups.  There are no neatly folded piles.  No color matching consideration.  No heavy cotton, or burdensome long-sleeves.  Simply reach into the swirl of colors, and lift out the first least-restrictive piece your hand comes upon.  Along with the lightness in our step, our arms find a wider range, and we reach to what we choose to hold with a new and more deliberate purpose.  

the water of Wells

    

there is no 9 to 5.  No lunch break.  No desktop computer.  And a morning shower isn't necessary.  Deodorant is optional.  It's all coolers and ice packs, blueberry and apple fritters, hair ties and flip flops, cold, hard, sandy cottage floors, warm, soft, sun kissed skin, cherries and spf 50, pails, shovels, and skim boards, blue matted public ways opening to salty marshes, grassy dunes and piping plovers, drift wood and beach roses, sea weed, faulty umbrellas, billy's chowder house, fish and chips and lobster rolls, everyday ice cream, Wells and Ogunquit and York, taffy stretched in store front windows, arguments over parking spots, coastal drives and Marginal Way walks, swim suits at dinner and wet car seats, arcades and beachcombers, jetty's and a Perkin's Cove, barnacles in tide pools, sunglasses after sunsets, salty kisses, sun burnt hugs, air conditioned naps and then hatching into humidity...it's the song of summer...and I'm always ready to hear it again.  

releasing ourselves from the career, the work week, the grind, and the frequent phone and email checks, we allow ourselves a recharge.  Paradoxically, by unplugging...we become more plugged in to what matters most.  A true vacation provides opportunities for an assessment of our home, work, and family balance from outside the box.  A reevaluation in a sense.  A fresh perspective.  And a check in with ourselves to say...'hey, how ya doin?'  

too big for this yet?

Do what you must to insert a getaway into your annual goals.  Stop drinking Starbucks and put that money away for the next trip...start a micro business that will pay for one...cancel cable tv for the Spring and Summer.  Whatever you have to do...do it!  The experience of a vacation has such a valuable return on investment (click here for my post on r.o.i.) compared with buying tangible items.  

Happy summer to you.

the 4th

Music:  Click here for one of my favorite bands...and a song that reminds me of summer. 

dear dad

'fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do'  - john mayer

fäT͟Hər:  a man in relation to his natural child or children

Dear dad,


today is a celebration of you...of all the characteristics and actions you take on in your parental role.  There is probably no greater responsibility in this world, so I hope you've taken the entire journey seriously.  And even considering that I'm now 37 years old, your job isn't done.  You can't retire from this one.  I need more from you.  I'm going to ask for more help and advice in the future...and your related position as a grandfather is just beginning.  

Concord monitor photo - White Park - circa 1982 - fundamentals 

Thinking of when you began the dad journey, I often wonder what you were thinking then...if you planned it out...how you anticipated the experience.  Did you put money aside...try to work extra hours?  Did you want a boy?  Were you nervous as hell?

I know that when I found out I was going to become a dad, a sway of emotions overtook me.  And I immediately came to, 'ok, how the heck am I going to do this?'  I read some books, inquired with other parents, and planned out many ideas...like my daughter will only eat fully organic foods, mixed up in this trendy new blender, and...I will only put reusable diapers on my daughters bum, and...I need to open a bank account for Matilda's college fund asap!  However, I found that some of these efforts were unrealistic.  Some too lofty.  And some came from advice from parents who made a ton of mistakes themselves.  In the end, we're all 'winging it' as parents.  Doing the best we can...and practicing a lot of on-the-job training.  No one knows all of the answers.  And many of the answers work only for specific children, or at specific times.  Therefore, we can all judge a little less harshly.  

presence

So dad, whatever you did during that time?  It's great.  You probably made some tough decisions and came through with some great execution.  I thank you so much for that!  You probably made a ton of mistakes...and you know what?  I forgive you for all of them.  I mean, look how I turned out!

I believe it's easy for parents to get caught up in the details of what they must do in order for their kids to be the best on the block.  I find myself wrapped up in that all too often.  But if we step back and take a more general perspective, understanding that parents are more than the sum of all of their parts, we can cherish dearly the fact that our simple 'presence' within our children's lives is what can contribute to a successful cultivation, an overall healthier society, and a fulfilled 'next' generation.

Mom, Dad, and the Tilly Monster - this makes me happy

After all dad, I don't remember you teaching me how to shave.  I do remember eating McDonalds after some of my basketball games.  I'm not sure if you showed me how to tie my shoes with the one loop method or if that was someone else.  But I can't remember a time when you weren't present in my life.  You were always either there, or one simple thought away from being there.  I've always known where you were...or at least thought I did.  I can always think in my mind where you most likely are.  That must be so significant!  37 years of that presence.  That takes effort, and unconditional love, and careful attention.  That describes effective communication, and respect, and integrity, and strong morals and values. 

Matilda's 2nd Easter...with her Grampa

the next phase...grandparenting

Sometimes I wonder how I became a certain way, or came to understand something, or why I believe in particular ideas, or practice parenting how I do.  I have to conclude that your presence has greatly contributed to that.  And again, many of these things seem to have been passed down with no direct speaking of, no detailed lesson taught (even though there were those too).  No, this feels more like a security that I was afforded and a comfort that I was allowed...in which I was able to grow and learn and start holding things as my own.  Thank you.  

I honestly do hope to be as good of a dad to Matilda as you've been to me.  There will be so many things I do differently though, and I know that's ok.  I am trying to use that 'presence' though...and will continue.  Time will tell!


                                                                                  your son,
                                                                                  james   







Music:  I love this song...and it does have some 'Dad' connections within it.  Enjoy!

yes no maybe so

'your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision' 

-Tony Robbins

When the details on the surface are wiped
away...what is left

There are times in our life when we have to make a decision.  We find ourselves standing at a crossroads with options in front of us.  A typical crossroads would determine that we would have three options or choices.  Picture driving up to an actual intersection of roads. It's best to think of west.  The desert, tumbleweed, cacti, cactuses?  Both are accepted.  This setting just feels more serene and secluded.  And it's just cool. No one is there to witness your decision.  It is just you and this place and the road you choose.  You can take a left, go straight, or take a right...3 choices.  Maybe a good way to use this analogy would be to match up each choice of road with an answer to the question, 'should I do this?'  Of course 'this' can fit whatever situation you may have in your life.  With 3 choices of roads, road 1 is YES!  Road 2 is NO!  Road 3 is OTHER or MAYBE SO.

Road 1

She could make a new road with this!

I think whenever we are asking ourselves 'should I do this', it's usually because we already have a hunch that we want to do it.  'Go with your gut', 'follow your instincts', 'lead with your heart', are all phrases that tell us we already know the answer.  Yes is the answer.  We know what we'd like to do, and deep down we know what we desire.  However, before we commit ourselves to road 1, we are faced with obstacles like fear and insecurity that will ostensibly reveal that this decision was a bad choice.  That's terrible and very sad.  I think everyone needs more of road 1 in their life.  Be more of a 'yes man', and stop turning everything down.  Embrace change and moving forward.  Covet growth and the learning process, especially when you find yourself on the edge of comfort.  Many of us talk about our passions and what we truly want to be doing.  We describe it to others.  We visualize it in vivid detail.  We think about how it will all play out in the future.  But then we don't act.  This is why some psychologists have found that we shouldn't actually talk about our goals.  By speaking about them, and receiving feedback from others, we actually feel a sense of accomplishment and we lose the passion, the edge, the motivation we once had.  This has happened to me many times.  It's hard because we want to share our passion with others.  We want to bounce ideas.  Maybe we should just share the tip of the iceberg...or bounce one small ball to someone.  Don't spill it before acting on it.  When is the best time to start acting on your passions?  Right now.  Immediately.  The clock is ticking.  

'Do what you want' sounds negative and detached but if I teach and use effective language, I can help Matilda hold onto 'acting on her desires'.  It's really the same thing.  When we're young, it's natural for us.  But much like creativity, we tend to lose it along the road

Road 2
Being a 'yes man' and taking road 1 on your decisions can bring you places you never dreamed of.  However, there are often times when we have to say 'no'.  Maybe you're just done spending time with a certain person...maybe your schedule is full...maybe you're just wiped out from being the challenges of parenting.  All these are totally justifiable.  I've learned that 'no' doesn't have to be negative.  If we communicate to others our feelings and/or reasons along with our 'no', we should be comfortable and content in our position to turn something down.  Withing my business, I now notice myself saying 'no' more often.  I always try to say 'yes' and take road 1 when people have requests.  But for a variety of reasons, sometimes I turn things down.  In the past, I felt guilty or insecure about this.  But that doesn't hold any weight.  I tell myself that if I can't commit wholeheartedly to this decision, it won't work out for either party.  Therefore, taking Road 2 can be understood as the best decision for all involved.  Road 2 shouldn't be as worn and trodden as road 1, but don't be afraid to lay new tracks when warranted.    

'I'm not ready to be done Dad.  I don't want to leave yet' is a phrase that I cherish and honor when I can.
She's taking Road 2, and saying 'no' to being done with something.

Road 3
Sometimes we can't commit to a yes or no right now.  We aren't ready to.  I actually use road 3 often.  I'm not so great at deciding on things right away.  I like to ruminate on the idea for a while...sleep on it in a sense.  I have come to realize that spontaneity is powerful and rewarding, and have started implementing that more in my day to day.  However, on some big decisions, I still hold value in deliberate consideration, weighing pros and cons over time and as I think of them, and documenting thoughts in a journal, before making a final choice.  While mulling over an idea for a couple of days, an important variable will often arise that easily determines the outcome for me.  It's like a subtle, 'did you consider this?'  And I will know right then and there whether it's road 1 or 2 that I'm taking.  Road 3 seems to be a loop around that brings you back to the same intersection later on.  It allows some soul searching, some road tripping, and a few pit stops to get your bearings and reassess your current location/situation.  

Maybe you have to let some time pass before you become close with that special someone.  Perhaps you're waiting for them to work something out on their end.  

You may need to save some money up, or line up your budget differently first.  

Maybe you feel overwhelmed and need to put a decision on the back burner until you feel more centered.  

Decision making at the Scoop Deck

What would you choose?  I go with something different every visit

Whatever it may be, we all have reasons to take road 3 at certain crossroads.  As I spoke of in the Road 2 section...be confident and content with your choice to wait on the decision.  It's not a 'non-decision'...it's a decision to wait, and lock in to something when you are totally ready to do so.  With the quick pace of our lives, I'm often telling Matilda, 'let's go, make a decision quickly!'  But I try to catch myself...thinking wait...she can have all the time she wants to make a decision (within reason)!  I believe it will strengthen the ground she stands on, and empower her ability to make wise and timely decisions for the rest of her life.  



Be aware of your surroundings when you come to a crossroads.  Simply pay attention to your emotions and the physical changes taking place.  Take a breath before accelerating down the next road.  Remember, each and every even small decision will set your life onto a different path...possibly a different plane.  So choose wisely!  I wish you the best in your decision making!

The sun is on me...and it feels good.  

Music:  Kaleo is a band that started in Iceland.  That might contribute to their unique sound.  I often forget about them for a while, and then hear them on the radio.  The sound is always intriguing...and since I don't own any of their music, I always go home and put on some of their live stuff.  Matilda and I caught them live at the Newburyport Riverfront Music Festival last year.  They rock!  Give this song a listen!

always be closing

A.B.C.

I must admit it...my house is a mess!  And...I just cleaned up that area.  How does it already look like a storm hit it?  

I have to confess...I've started a thousand projects around here, and about 999 of them still seem 'under construction'.  

I should accept it.  I have a problem.  Actually many, but I'll start with this one and see if I can find closure with it.

I peg myself as really good at coming up with ideas.  I have journals and sheets and post it notes collected with a bunch of random ideas.  These can be related to business, the house, relationships, professional development, investments, blah blah blah.  Most of my ideas are bad.  However, I believe that while coming up with many poor ideas...and documenting them...I'm bound to come up with a good one here and there.  It's almost like I come up with 99 bad ideas for every one diamond in the rough.  It's a low shooting percentage but hey, if you don't shoot you can't score.  

Matilda comes up with the best ideas

I do feel strongly about documenting by the way.  If you don't put your thoughts and ideas and goals down on paper, or somewhere digitally, they'll just float around in your head, and possible float out of your head for good.  Once you put them somewhere, you can make space in your head for developing that idea or adding interest to it...or coming up with another one.  Find yourself a cool journal, even a good expensive one.  It's investing in your own brain/goals/ideas.  And it will encourage you to put good use to it, and hold value in your own beliefs.  

Closing the deal

So I'm good with all that stuff.  My interests are many.  I'm quick to jump into things and just try something.  I love learning anything new.  However...I'm not good with following the practice of the phrase, 'Always Be Closing'.  This phrase is from the 1992 drama film called Glengarry Glen Ross, in which the character played by Alec Baldwin encourages some of the other characters to close deals within their sales work.  Watch out for bad language, but here is a great clip from the movie.  Look...it's a very shallow message in regards to simply making more money above all else, and disregarding things like being a good dad, or being kind.  However, it struck a chord with me in how it can relate to the idea of completing something.  And this is what I have trouble with.  As I said, I can start a bunch of projects.  But I never seem to finish many of them.  

Finishing touches

This weekend, I had a task that I wanted to complete.  The ramps in my landscape trailer have to be lifted in and mounted to the inside walls for transportation.  Well, I've always had this crap system of a cheap eye-hook and bungee chords to hold them in place.  Boring I know...bear with me.  This system has bothered me for about 5 years.  I can't believe that!  I've spoken about it, wrote down ideas, sworn at it many times...but never really done anything about it.  Well on Saturday night and into Sunday morning, I came up with a plan, went to the hardware store for materials, and put in a new ramp mounting system.  It was actually pretty easy!  On Sunday, I found myself putting all of my tools back in their proper place, sweeping up the garage floor of all debris, and wiping down my workbench with a cleaner and paper towels.  I suddenly thought, 'Oh my...I've actually completed something, and I'm in the very final stage of cleaning up the mess associated with it.  I never do this!'  I'm telling you...it felt so good.   I immediately thought about 'Always Be Closing', and the benefits related to that.  I thought about Casey Neistat, and how he has those words tattooed on his arm.  He actually dedicated an entire Vlog to this idea.  Watch it here! 

Harvesting is 'closing'

Neistat says that if you start a bunch of things and don't finish them, you're a loser.  That's me...how sad.  Someone who starts something and always finishes it is a closer.  That's not me.  My new focus is to become more of a closer.  I must bring my ideas to fruition...see them through to their fullest potential.  I'm on it.  By closing, and completing something, we are able to reap the rewards related to our project.  After dealing with annoyance of the ramp system in my trailer for 5 years, and halfheartedly poking at it here and there with temporary repairs, no wonder I felt so good about putting smart and hard work to it and having it completed.  



Closing leads to you feeling much more productive.  
Closing frees up space in your head for other, more important ideas. 
Closing encourages intellect and hard work over complaining and hoping.
Closing leads to more appreciation instead of expectation.  
Don't be a loser...be a closer!

We completed another dance season...and this is me as a proud Dad!

Organization

A.B.C. totally relates to keeping our lives organized too.  This is an area that I struggle with, and one that I'll be putting some more focus into.  When you come home...with a bunch of things in your hands...maybe a bag or two...and pockets full of receipts and change and hair clips (for some reason, I always find myself here)...do you put everything away in it's designated spot?  What I usually do is pile it onto my dining room table.  It's flat, easy to access, and I won't need the table until about 5:30pm.  That's not closing.  That's losing!  The worst is when I've put together a nice dinner and I go to bring plates to the table for Matilda and I, to find my loser pile in the way.  Worst!

I do have all of the designated places for things.  I have a file cabinet with nicely labeled folders, a piggy bank in the living room, a cup in the bathroom for Matilda's hair clips.  I just don't follow that step of putting things directly into their proper place.  And this is key.  If you hired someone to come 'organize your house' or your life, a main thread would be to immediately place things into their position.  Put them in their home.  Look at your computer desk, your kitchen counters, the desktop on your computer...even your email inbox.  Are you organized?  I've started trying to get to a totally empty email inbox as often as possible.  This entails creating simple folders, unsubscribing from all of the crap, deleting as soon as possible, and once a day, taking care of pertinent messages.  It relieves so much stress for me to have a clean slate.  But I need to work on the more 'physical' areas of my life...and organize those.  I want to finish more projects on my to do list...not just start them.  I don't want to be a loser anymore...I want to be a closer!  Please comment if you've found effective ways of 'closing' in your own life.   

Thoughts are great...but action leads to closing!

Music:  Blind Pilot is an Oregon based band.  They use interesting instruments like a mountain dulcimer, vibraphone, and a harmonium.  Here's a great one called New York.



If you like what you've read, please use the 'follow by email' bar below.  I appreciate you reading!

en·tre·pre·neur äntrəprəˈnər

'the most dangerous thing you can do in life is play it safe' - Casey Neistat

Sit down.  Don't talk.  Raise your hand.  Stay in line.  Don't be late.  Quiet down.  Put that away.  Share.  Read this.  Watch that.  You can eat now.  Play like this.  Don't speak out.  Settle down.  Be prepared. 

This is what our kids are told...time and time again.  What must become slowly and steadily ingrained is the idea that they should all conform, follow the crowd, learn how everyone else does, choose a career, spend a lot of money to study within that field with a college education, find a company to work for, and work...so that you can afford things like a car and a house and a latte...then, they will be successful. 

Are we introducing and exposing our children to enough entrepreneurial ideas to truly let them know about other options they may have?  At Concord High School, I can remember one single unit within I believe an Economics class.  Mr. Denoncourt worked so hard with us to help us pronounce the word en-tre-pre-neur.  I said it wrong until college.  I don't remember a single thing from that unit we studied however...but I'm sure it was thorough in explaining the option for citizens to...yippee! start your own business!  You could make and sell cookies with your mom, or you could design a tshirt, and sell it out of the trunk of your car.  I'm sure the text book detailed some of the easier fields to enter as a business starter, like construction, landscaping, or dog walking.  I'm sure one of the bolded subject headings was 'be your own boss', and we probably discussed as a class the pros and cons to running your own company.  Mr Denoncourt was genuine in his efforts, I am sure.  But all I remember is äntrəprəˈnər.  

Considering the loyalty once involved in working for a company, and the lack of commitment and loyalty in present times, we owe it to our kids to expose them to more.  One unit is not enough.  I'm sure there was more within my high school curriculum and I just missed it...I was in a fog most of the time.  But I know there wasn't enough.  

Years ago, one could be very secure in choosing a company to work for, sticking with that job for many years, and then retiring with a good sized pension to ride off into the sunset with.  It is not the same today.  It's predicted that our youngest workers will hold around 12-15 jobs in their lifetime.  It's also commonly noted that the average worker will make 5-7 career changes during there career.  It is simply a very different workplace.



Speak out.  Hustle.  Grind.  Don't sleep.  Find a loophole.  Challenge authority. The time is right now.  Make your own line to stand in.  You are creative.  Develop grit.  Ask more questions.  Better questions.  Come up with ideas.  More than that.  Start something now.  Take the risk.  Don't seek comfort.  Don't listen to me.  Do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it.  

What if these were some ideas we showered our kids with?  That's it...I'm starting a school, and the paragraph above will serve as the uncommon core curriculum.  The mission statement will have to be, 'do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it'.  When I step back and think, that phrase can simply define success like no other.  Children and adults alike could find so much happiness and success by first searching, finding, discovering, and identifying their own passions and loves...and then working, playing, and living within those areas as much as possible.  I'm not sure our schools, our communities, our parents, our culture is set up for that.  

I want my daughter Matilda to know that there are many paths.  And that she has many choices.  She'll be able to pronounce entrepreneur this year.  I'm going to introduce her to my uncommon curriculum...though I might leave out the do whatever you want part for now.  I'm still figuring this parenting thing out.  She will though, be able to dream something up, take a risk, and even fail, knowing that she'll have help to get up and find a different way.

In the short term, we're starting a small farm stand called The Grower's Daughter.  Matilda is very excited about this.  She'll be selling some plants we started from seed, some breads that we made, cookies, vegetables and honey in the Fall, and whatever else comes to mind.  The Grand Opening is tomorrow from 11-1pm at our house...so please stop by to say hello!  I'm hoping that this new adventure will play a small part in helping her develop some skills, passion, and even some hustle.  



Music:  Here is a beautiful song called Cherry Wine by Hozier.  It actually raised awareness and funds for domestic violence.  Enjoy!

r.o.i.

'rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth' - Thoreau

Return on Investment:  A performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment.  

I am always focusing on this word 'efficiency'.  Always considering methods that will streamline, or make things most economical.  And while these thoughts are on my mind while sitting in the Edward Jones office, preparing to discuss my financial investment portfolio (saying that you have an investment portfolio sounds so pretentious!), I'm writing today and thinking about how this philosophy applies to other aspects of our daily lives.  

We have a finite amount of time to be alive.  There are so many things I want to do!  I feel if I don't somehow multiply or compound my interest and interests, I simply won't be living to my potential...won't be able to reach all of my goals...and won't be able to have a complete, fulfilling, and successful day.

Considering all of the chaos and stress and fast pace of our lives, this sounds messy, and cramming, and overwhelming.  You may be thinking, 'Right...there aren't enough hours within a day!'  And you may be 'burning the wick at both ends' as they say, and feeling like there's no catching up.  How could you even consider adding new items to your plate, or reaching for new heights on your success ladder.  Well, it's always wise to consider your r.o.i. first.  And practicing mindfulness throughout will keep you balanced.  


speak the truth
As I age, I find myself searching for the absolute honest truth within things...good or bad...just let me see what's real.  My skin is thicker now.  The insecurities mitigated.  I really don't care about a lot of nonsense that once consumed me...and that frees up a lot of space to accept truth.  

One great truth always being spoken to us is our health.  At Thanksgiving, when we would go around the table and say what we were thankful for, some aunt or cousin, or niece's boyfriend would always say they're thankful for good health.  That not even a thing!  It doesn't mean anything.  It's an arbitrary, general statement used to quickly get on to the next relative.  That is what I thought anyway.  When you, or someone close to you becomes unhealthy, injured, or simply older and aware of new limitations...you quickly understand the fortune of good health.  

That is why things like exercise and diet have such great returns on investments!  They are honest and effective formulas leading to good health.  If you jump into an intense training program and very strict diet tomorrow, the benefits and rewards of doing so will be amazing!  It's a very simple formula.  Aha!  But it's very hard work to implement and maintain.  Otherwise, we'd all be doing it.  

I absolutely love the sport of basketball.  It has given me returns that I never expected...introduced me to so many people that I cherish...allowed me to experience passion and fun and competition and challenge...and time and time again, it has been so very honest with me.  I think this is what I now appreciate most about it.  'You get out what you put in', is a phrase that comes to mind.  I had 'practiced' and 'played' the sport from time to time, but it wasn't until I completely focused and dedicated myself to hours of tailored training, that I came to understand what came from hard work, and how to truly invest in something for myself.  At one point, during the start of my college

basketball career (you can read some more about this time here...on my 'about me' page), I decided to, on top of a bunch of strenuous training sessions, shoot 300 three pointers a day.  Along with that, the coach asked each player to shoot 100 free throws a day.  I think one other player and I were the only two that did this no excuses...7 days a week.  This training...the consistent repetition of movements...the culture that came with always being near a basketball and a hoop...the camaraderie gained grinding out work with others...and the grit earned by winning hard fought physical battles on my own...instilled something in me that I hold dearly to this day.  The actual shooting itself became somewhat automatic for me.  Three pointers felt like free throws.  Free throws felt like layups.  I could feel a difference.  And I was proud of my investment.

Basketball is where I found this.  But you can find this honest earning of truth within a lot of activities.   Learning how to play guitar is where I've found it most recently.  



shopping cart 🛒
I don't buy as many things as I used to.  I scrutinize purchases now to no end.  I sit and ruminate on whether or not I really need this item...really want it.  I totally consider the r.o.i. that this item will bring me over time.  Is this going to be trendy to me?  Will I love it in 5 years?  Can I use it for 2 years, and sell it for what I buy it for?  I highly recommend doing this for any big ticket items you're considering.  Also remember, buying an 'experience' over a tangible item is more likely to be fulfilling.  In this way, money can buy happiness.  I still like buying 'things' here and there though.  Here are some things I put in my shopping cart over the last couple of years:

• road bicycle
• electric guitar
• trip to Disney
• log splitter (for firewood)
• brick and stone walkway

I really want to buy a drone next.  They're just cool ok?  Probably frivolous...I know.  I've been thinking about it though, and may pull the trigger soon!  

proximity

Who are the people around you most?  Are you investing in those that you appreciate and love?  One of the most effective ways to find long term happiness is through your relationships with friends and family.  It starts with you though.  I've mentioned this before...'turn your expectations into appreciation' is what Tony Robbins says, and it totally applies to all relationships.  How do you keep yourself around the people you want to be around?  One simple way to start is to get rid of the folks you don't want to be around.  We often have some people in our lives that empty our bucket.  They are depleting.  They take and don't give back.  And they are unhealthy for us.  Life is too short.  Value your time more, and stop spending it on folks like this.  Once your standard is set, you'll start noticing more bucket filling folks in your proximity.

Music:  Ryan Adams continues to be very inspiring for me.  Here's a great song with just him and his piano.

Please share this piece if you liked it.  Also, subscribe to my writings below by using the 'follow by email' bar.  Thanks for your time!

      

go be it

'The chains of  habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken' - Warren Buffett

Music:  Click here to listen to one of my favorite all around bands...Dawes.  They're from California, and have been described as having a Laurel Canyon sound.  The singer/guitar player has an awesome 1960's telecaster...for all you guitar buffs out there.  His brother plays drums in the band...and they have a special harmony when they sing together.  Griffin, the drummer, takes hipster to a whole new level.  I secretly want to be this guy for a week.  Enjoy!   

  

What inspires you?  What get's your juices flowing?  Is it sports, politics, family, education, music?  We all have certain experiences when we feel engaged and intrigued.  And we are all so different as to what flicks that switch for us.  

More and more, I've been trying to live closer to those things that are inspirational for me.  I wonder if all of us do this enough.  I know for me, for a long time...I didn't.  Whether out of fear, insecurities, self-doubt, or many other reasons, we often don't try new things or pursue avenues we are unsure of.  And that is surely something to regret.  I remember reading something a while back (can't remember the source) in which older people that were near the end of their lives...basically gave advice on how to live.  Most of the regrets had to do with things they hadn't done or tried.  And the best advice was to live with passion, don't care what others think, take more risks, and worry less.  Living this way enriches our lives and creates happiness for ourselves and those around us.  

Last summer, the band Dawes that I introduced above, was playing in Portsmouth, NH at Prescott Park.  I found out about it last minute and asked a couple friends to go.  But it was the morning of the show and no one was able to.  I had really just started listening to them.  I was inspired and had to see them.  But I wasn't too psyched about going alone, parking would be tough, the place would probably be packed, wouldn't be able to find a good seat, might be too cold.  These are the negative thoughts that immediately ran through my head.  Something I've done a lot of in the past, and something I'm always working on reversing.  Anyway, I showed up to a beautiful setting on the water.  The place wasn't packed at all, and I was able to sit on the grass on the right side of the stage.  I was right next to that hipster drummer, and had an incredible view of everything.  I felt like I had a backstage pass or something.  As they played, the sun set, creating a golden glow over the park, and I knew...this was one of those inspirational moments for me.  Families were dancing. The decades old guitar...ancient and full of scratches, rust, and wear, was still somehow sending out smooth and well-tuned notes.  And I noticed how much effort the band was putting in to creating each song, staying in time with one another, reading cues, and making this feel like their only show...not one of many on their tour. 

That experience, along with many others, has inspired me to be more 'musical'.  And I've created some habits to make sure that happens...because for me, it creates happiness, and it brings me closer to that passionate way of living.  It's actually really simple.  Why not try to do more of the things we like doing?

Having Matilda around has totally brought light to this.  The kid is always living in the moment, and as the innocence and naivety of childhood provides, simply doing the things she really wants to be doing.  It's of course a balance for us parents to allow as much of that as possible, while also showing boundaries and limitations.  This seems to be a conversation I'm having everyday now.   And I absolutely love it!

I feel strongly though that in order to harness your passion...to secure it and hold it for future access...you must act immediately, or soon after your inspirational experience.  We have so many thoughts.  So many distractions.  You need to make sure to somehow follow through on your experience.  This could be as simple as going home and writing a journal entry about your thoughts and feelings, and tying that in to your goals.  It could be setting up another date with that person.  Maybe it's buying your first guitar.  Starting to exercise more.  Or starting a business!  Whatever it is, use your passion as a catalyst.  It will help propel you to happiness and an inspirational life that is actually tailor fit for you!  It's like being your own life coach.  

Do you ever say, 'that would be fun', or 'I should do that', but then find that you have reasons or excuses or distractions that get in the way?  Just the simple awareness of your thoughts surrounding this will prove to be very helpful.  And I've said this before...mindfulness and meditation are amazing tools...especially when it comes to self-awareness.  Once you are aware, you can start creating everyday habits that are directly linked to what you truly want.  I believe in using routines and habits to instill these values...especially if you're an old dog learning new tricks.  I'll share some of the routines that help me in another post.  

The next time you feel emotional, passionate, truly inspired...go be it!

What does inspire you...and how do you find it in your every day?

Please follow below if you like what you read...thank you!