Small Business Saturday Shoutout is a project I'm using to promote valuable businesses in New Hampshire. I've recognized that good products and services can often be hard to find. I've also noticed some great local businesses that aren't being taken advantage of...and maybe folks aren't aware of. I'll be spreading the word about these companies in hopes that others can find value there.
Episode #002 - Rachel Jayne Photography
I asked Rachel (owner/manager) some questions to help get to the core of her business. Here is what I found:
james - Does a picture really say 1000 words?
rachel - I don't think so. I think a good photograph tells a story and makes you feel some kind of emotion. The kind of photos I take usually are about showing connection between people. That's my main goal, to show connection.
james - the photography market is very noisy and crowded...what makes you different?
rachel - Sessions with me are fun and relaxed. I don't do a lot of posing because I find it to be very rigid and unnatural. Even if I do a "pose", I like to try to lighten it up and make it more natural. I try to get families to just be together how they would if they were playing in the yard, then I try to capture that.
james - is it a good camera, a good eye, or good editing that makes the best picture?
rachel - All 3 are important. Having a good camera is nice, but if you don't have a good eye and the technical skills to back it up, it won't really help. It's important not to over edit, you really don't want to look at the photo and see where the edits were made. Everyone has their own style, so it's important for clients to understand that and make sure they like a particular photographers editing style.
james - Thanks for the time Rachel! Folks...whatever 'it' is? Rachel has it. Here is where you can look up and contact her great company:
Rachel Jayne Photography
email: rjminery@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RachelJaynePhotos/
the tides of mine
Saturday, October 7, 2017
Friday, September 22, 2017
small business saturday shoutout - 001
Small Business Saturday Shoutout is a project I'm using to promote valuable businesses in New Hampshire. I've recognized that good products and services can often be hard to find. I've also noticed some great local businesses that aren't being taken advantage of...and maybe folks aren't aware of. I'll be spreading the word about these companies in hopes that others can find value there.
Episode #001 - Brian's One to One Fitness
I asked Brian Silfies (owner/manager) some questions to help get to the core of his business. Here is what I found:
james - Can you describe your business to me?
brian - We are a cutting-edge athletic training center that uses traditional and innovative practices, paired with the best equipment possible... to make you stronger and faster. We have a wide variety of ages and levels, and we welcome anyone who is interested in making progress toward their own goals. We also offer personal training and adult-group classes.
james - What drew you to this field?
brian - I started this business because I have a passion for helping people set, and reach, high goals.
james - What are some common threads that you've noticed...why people are, or are not, reaching their fitness goals?
brian - I've noticed that people typically reach their goals by trusting the process, showing up every day with a good attitude and work ethic, and dedicating themselves to get the job done for that day.
james - Thanks for the time Brian! Folks...do yourself a favor, and reach out to Brian to get started. Here is where you can look up the company:
Brian's One to One Fitness
2 Pillsbury Street, LLA
Concord, NH 03301
Phone: 603.738.5579
email: brian1.1fitness@comcast.net
Website: http://briansfitness.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConcordAthleteTrainingCenter/
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Wednesday, July 19, 2017
school ties
'every child is an artist. the problem is how to remain an artist once [they] grow up' - Picasso
*two books related to this topic...and that I highly recommend reading are The Global Achievement Gap by Wagner, and Home Grown: adventures in parenting off the beaten path, unschooling, and reconnecting with the natural world by Hewitt.
Also, check out this blog on Unschooling by Leo Babauta
As Matilda grows closer to school aged, I find myself thinking about her education more and more. She's 4 years old now, and won't be old enough for kindergarten until the Fall of 2018. So there is some time...but none like the present to consider options. I honestly haven't made any conclusions about how I feel in regards to kindergarten and school yet. But I have read a bunch, spoke to some others about it, and think on it often. Hopefully, writing on the topic will allow me to explore it more deeply, and help define what I truly believe in.
step back
While you may think I'm speaking of a Steph Curry 'step back' 3 pointer, I'm talking more about what I believe all of us 'citizens' need to practice before thinking about education. It's a term that I'll use to describe a pausing, stepping out of the box, and the employment of a wide and general perspective. You see, I never questioned school really. I'm not sure my parents did either. Maybe your parents didn't. It's just been accepted over time that school is where you go starting at age 5 and ending at age 18. It's what everyone does. We've done it for a long time, and now you're going to do it. But what does that allow our children? What does it provide them? How does it challenge them? How is it tailored for them? What will it prepare them for? And how will we determine their success within this institution?
It is pretty obvious to me that a student that attends 180 days of school (let's say a first grader), will know more facts and things than a child that doesn't go to school for that 180 days. The schooled student will test better, follow rules quicker, and be better prepared to take in the 2nd grade curriculum. They will be 'ahead of the curve' compared to the unschooled child. 'Stepping back' though...is saying 'who cares' to all of that. It's saying, standardized tests are not what define my child. It's recognizing that rules can be bent in life outside of school...there is always a loophole...and questioning everything is very beneficial. It's submitting to the rat race of parent's claiming high percentiles of where their child sits, admitting that the curve that we're all trying to get ahead of is a slippery slope that doesn't matter as much as we're drilled to believe. Stepping back is believing that it's ok that my child doesn't ride a bike as well as other 4 year olds. It's ok if my child's reading level isn't where the common core says it should be. I understand it's difficult to be ok with that, especially considering societal pressure. But...we don't need to constantly compare each to another...and rank accordingly. We all contain multitudes. These microcosms and measurements are small pieces of our entire selves.
math/statistics
6 hours per school day (approx) multiplied by 180 school days = 1080 hours per school year.
12 school years + kindergarten = 13 school years.
13 school years x 1080 hours = 14,040 hours of total schooling through completion.
Is it too much? Is it enough? Are the hours used most effectively?
The average American 15 year old spends about 5 hours per week doing homework...and since students with a more advantaged socio-economic status tend to do more homework than less fortunate students, 'homework helps perpetuate existing inequalities in education', says the PISA (Programme for International Student Assessment) researchers.
According to the Pew Research Center, the United States ranks '38th out of 71 countries in math...24th in science...24th in reading'.
While there have been some very small gains since the 1990's, standardized test scores in the US have gone down since 2013.
How are our schools failing us? How are they preparing our children for the unpredictable, ever changing future? Do test scores matter? Do world rankings matter? How are our children allowed to fail, and encouraged to try again...a different way?
This TED talk is one of the most watched ever. It asks the question, 'do schools kill creativity'? And I highly recommend it! ...the video...not killing creativity.
How kind is kindergarten?
Recent NH news has described how full day kindergarten will finally be funded here, as it passed through the NH legislature.
Having discussions with many parents about this, I've heard a common thread...and that is that the schedule of full-day kindergarten will allow parents to send their kids away without having to pick up or drop off midday. So basically, it's the logistics that people are most happy about. This is just what I've heard the most...not the entire story.
I've also heard a bit of 'my child will be more ready for 1st grade, which will then lead to future success'. This argument is somewhat obvious to me again...but another area in which I use the step back approach. Of course, any student that goes through the routine of a full day school schedule will be ahead of one that doesn't. They will test better, follow rules quicker, possess a deeper understanding of how a school day functions, sit at a higher reading and math level, etc. etc. However, the 'leading to future success' part has been proven wrong. The intellectual and social/emotional gains from kindergarten are found up to a 3rd or 4th grade level. After that they drop off. So if we step back and consider what the real pros and cons of full day kindergarten are, there is more of a story that I need to be told. Some questions I have about it are:
How much 'free play time' will children have? What is the curriculum, and where I can I find it? What arts will be part of the school day? Is funding this thing with Keno (a lottery game that I believe is currently illegal in NH) a wise decision...sustainable...respectable? It feels...icky.
I don't believe anymore in sedentary, sitting in the desk, receiving curriculum from the teacher, following structure and rules, no risk involved, being told how to think and learn. I know this isn't every school and every teacher. There are so many good ones out there...and they make a difference. But the structure/institution seems to be broken...or lacking...and not providing the best possible return on investment.
Take a look at this kindergarten in Tokyo, and look how different it looks from something our children will receive. It's experiential, creates wonder, involves risk, allows bending of rules, includes inherent challenges (physical and emotional).
what now?
I was a teacher once. I didn't leave because I 'disagreed' with school. I had surely lost the passion I once had though, and was feeling totally burnt out, lacking resources, lacking technology, looking at a pay cut the following year, wondering how to best provide for my young daughter in the years to come, and trying to run a small business on the side. It was a multitude of variables pulling me away.
I was a student once too. I remember some good moments in elementary and middle school. I had some fun, and made some great connections with people. School felt easy to me. I got good grades, and I had good manners. On the other hand, I remember often staring off out a window, or at a wall. Not an inspired and dream-filled daydream. It was always filled with the thought, 'when will this be over?' I remember feeling insecure, especially as I got older and entered high school, not fitting in, not knowing where to sit, how to get along. Things became much harder for me then. I failed. I quit. Fortunately, I went right back and finished. But high school is a sad memory for me, and very negative. I envy others when I hear they loved high school so much. I'm happy for them, but that is foreign to me.
I've recently became infatuated with this idea of Unschooling. It's not homeschooling, with a curriculum and standards. It's simply not going to school...and allowing the parent and child the decision on what to learn, when, and how they want to...ultimate freedom. It sounds scary at first...and those thoughts of meeting grade level standards, keeping up with the Jones', and how will my kid be successful with that? start to creep in. But if we step back, we can accept that those worries don't truly hold weight. They don't define us as individuals when we leave school anyway....and the same questions can be asked of a schooler...with similar validity. There are so many other meaningful experiences that can be had within 14,040 hours, that may lead to more influential lessons learned.
Take a look at this talk by an unschooler. He brings up some intriguing ideas, and it's refreshing to hear his perspective.
Music: This song is beautiful...and speaks about when a girl just has a way about her.
Music: This song is beautiful...and speaks about when a girl just has a way about her.
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Sunday, July 9, 2017
song of summer
'you can sleep in September' - Casey Neistat
Nubble |
we laugh |
we love |
our edges are also exposed, as the subtle curves of our shoulders seek the sun. Sleeves are considered low brow this week and the dresser drawers of our cottage bedroom are a mess of tank tops, sun dresses, jerseys, and cover ups. There are no neatly folded piles. No color matching consideration. No heavy cotton, or burdensome long-sleeves. Simply reach into the swirl of colors, and lift out the first least-restrictive piece your hand comes upon. Along with the lightness in our step, our arms find a wider range, and we reach to what we choose to hold with a new and more deliberate purpose.
the water of Wells |
there is no 9 to 5. No lunch break. No desktop computer. And a morning shower isn't necessary. Deodorant is optional. It's all coolers and ice packs, blueberry and apple fritters, hair ties and flip flops, cold, hard, sandy cottage floors, warm, soft, sun kissed skin, cherries and spf 50, pails, shovels, and skim boards, blue matted public ways opening to salty marshes, grassy dunes and piping plovers, drift wood and beach roses, sea weed, faulty umbrellas, billy's chowder house, fish and chips and lobster rolls, everyday ice cream, Wells and Ogunquit and York, taffy stretched in store front windows, arguments over parking spots, coastal drives and Marginal Way walks, swim suits at dinner and wet car seats, arcades and beachcombers, jetty's and a Perkin's Cove, barnacles in tide pools, sunglasses after sunsets, salty kisses, sun burnt hugs, air conditioned naps and then hatching into humidity...it's the song of summer...and I'm always ready to hear it again.
releasing ourselves from the career, the work week, the grind, and the frequent phone and email checks, we allow ourselves a recharge. Paradoxically, by unplugging...we become more plugged in to what matters most. A true vacation provides opportunities for an assessment of our home, work, and family balance from outside the box. A reevaluation in a sense. A fresh perspective. And a check in with ourselves to say...'hey, how ya doin?'
too big for this yet? |
Do what you must to insert a getaway into your annual goals. Stop drinking Starbucks and put that money away for the next trip...start a micro business that will pay for one...cancel cable tv for the Spring and Summer. Whatever you have to do...do it! The experience of a vacation has such a valuable return on investment (click here for my post on r.o.i.) compared with buying tangible items.
Happy summer to you.
the 4th |
Music: Click here for one of my favorite bands...and a song that reminds me of summer.
Sunday, June 18, 2017
dear dad
'fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do' - john mayer
fäT͟HÉ™r: a man in relation to his natural child or children
Dear dad,
today is a celebration of you...of all the characteristics and actions you take on in your parental role. There is probably no greater responsibility in this world, so I hope you've taken the entire journey seriously. And even considering that I'm now 37 years old, your job isn't done. You can't retire from this one. I need more from you. I'm going to ask for more help and advice in the future...and your related position as a grandfather is just beginning.
Concord monitor photo - White Park - circa 1982 - fundamentals |
Thinking of when you began the dad journey, I often wonder what you were thinking then...if you planned it out...how you anticipated the experience. Did you put money aside...try to work extra hours? Did you want a boy? Were you nervous as hell?
I know that when I found out I was going to become a dad, a sway of emotions overtook me. And I immediately came to, 'ok, how the heck am I going to do this?' I read some books, inquired with other parents, and planned out many ideas...like my daughter will only eat fully organic foods, mixed up in this trendy new blender, and...I will only put reusable diapers on my daughters bum, and...I need to open a bank account for Matilda's college fund asap! However, I found that some of these efforts were unrealistic. Some too lofty. And some came from advice from parents who made a ton of mistakes themselves. In the end, we're all 'winging it' as parents. Doing the best we can...and practicing a lot of on-the-job training. No one knows all of the answers. And many of the answers work only for specific children, or at specific times. Therefore, we can all judge a little less harshly.
presence |
So dad, whatever you did during that time? It's great. You probably made some tough decisions and came through with some great execution. I thank you so much for that! You probably made a ton of mistakes...and you know what? I forgive you for all of them. I mean, look how I turned out!
I believe it's easy for parents to get caught up in the details of what they must do in order for their kids to be the best on the block. I find myself wrapped up in that all too often. But if we step back and take a more general perspective, understanding that parents are more than the sum of all of their parts, we can cherish dearly the fact that our simple 'presence' within our children's lives is what can contribute to a successful cultivation, an overall healthier society, and a fulfilled 'next' generation.
Mom, Dad, and the Tilly Monster - this makes me happy |
After all dad, I don't remember you teaching me how to shave. I do remember eating McDonalds after some of my basketball games. I'm not sure if you showed me how to tie my shoes with the one loop method or if that was someone else. But I can't remember a time when you weren't present in my life. You were always either there, or one simple thought away from being there. I've always known where you were...or at least thought I did. I can always think in my mind where you most likely are. That must be so significant! 37 years of that presence. That takes effort, and unconditional love, and careful attention. That describes effective communication, and respect, and integrity, and strong morals and values.
Matilda's 2nd Easter...with her Grampa |
the next phase...grandparenting |
Sometimes I wonder how I became a certain way, or came to understand something, or why I believe in particular ideas, or practice parenting how I do. I have to conclude that your presence has greatly contributed to that. And again, many of these things seem to have been passed down with no direct speaking of, no detailed lesson taught (even though there were those too). No, this feels more like a security that I was afforded and a comfort that I was allowed...in which I was able to grow and learn and start holding things as my own. Thank you.
I honestly do hope to be as good of a dad to Matilda as you've been to me. There will be so many things I do differently though, and I know that's ok. I am trying to use that 'presence' though...and will continue. Time will tell!
your son,
james
Music: I love this song...and it does have some 'Dad' connections within it. Enjoy!
Monday, June 12, 2017
yes no maybe so
'your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision'
-Tony Robbins
When the details on the surface are wiped away...what is left |
She could make a new road with this! |
Road 2
Being a 'yes man' and taking road 1 on your decisions can bring you places you never dreamed of. However, there are often times when we have to say 'no'. Maybe you're just done spending time with a certain person...maybe your schedule is full...maybe you're just wiped out from being the challenges of parenting. All these are totally justifiable. I've learned that 'no' doesn't have to be negative. If we communicate to others our feelings and/or reasons along with our 'no', we should be comfortable and content in our position to turn something down. Withing my business, I now notice myself saying 'no' more often. I always try to say 'yes' and take road 1 when people have requests. But for a variety of reasons, sometimes I turn things down. In the past, I felt guilty or insecure about this. But that doesn't hold any weight. I tell myself that if I can't commit wholeheartedly to this decision, it won't work out for either party. Therefore, taking Road 2 can be understood as the best decision for all involved. Road 2 shouldn't be as worn and trodden as road 1, but don't be afraid to lay new tracks when warranted.
'I'm not ready to be done Dad. I don't want to leave yet' is a phrase that I cherish and honor when I can. She's taking Road 2, and saying 'no' to being done with something. |
Road 3
Sometimes we can't commit to a yes or no right now. We aren't ready to. I actually use road 3 often. I'm not so great at deciding on things right away. I like to ruminate on the idea for a while...sleep on it in a sense. I have come to realize that spontaneity is powerful and rewarding, and have started implementing that more in my day to day. However, on some big decisions, I still hold value in deliberate consideration, weighing pros and cons over time and as I think of them, and documenting thoughts in a journal, before making a final choice. While mulling over an idea for a couple of days, an important variable will often arise that easily determines the outcome for me. It's like a subtle, 'did you consider this?' And I will know right then and there whether it's road 1 or 2 that I'm taking. Road 3 seems to be a loop around that brings you back to the same intersection later on. It allows some soul searching, some road tripping, and a few pit stops to get your bearings and reassess your current location/situation.
Maybe you have to let some time pass before you become close with that special someone. Perhaps you're waiting for them to work something out on their end.
You may need to save some money up, or line up your budget differently first.
Maybe you feel overwhelmed and need to put a decision on the back burner until you feel more centered.
Decision making at the Scoop Deck |
What would you choose? I go with something different every visit |
Whatever it may be, we all have reasons to take road 3 at certain crossroads. As I spoke of in the Road 2 section...be confident and content with your choice to wait on the decision. It's not a 'non-decision'...it's a decision to wait, and lock in to something when you are totally ready to do so. With the quick pace of our lives, I'm often telling Matilda, 'let's go, make a decision quickly!' But I try to catch myself...thinking wait...she can have all the time she wants to make a decision (within reason)! I believe it will strengthen the ground she stands on, and empower her ability to make wise and timely decisions for the rest of her life.
Be aware of your surroundings when you come to a crossroads. Simply pay attention to your emotions and the physical changes taking place. Take a breath before accelerating down the next road. Remember, each and every even small decision will set your life onto a different path...possibly a different plane. So choose wisely! I wish you the best in your decision making!
The sun is on me...and it feels good. |
Music: Kaleo is a band that started in Iceland. That might contribute to their unique sound. I often forget about them for a while, and then hear them on the radio. The sound is always intriguing...and since I don't own any of their music, I always go home and put on some of their live stuff. Matilda and I caught them live at the Newburyport Riverfront Music Festival last year. They rock! Give this song a listen!
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Monday, June 5, 2017
always be closing
A.B.C.
I must admit it...my house is a mess! And...I just cleaned up that area. How does it already look like a storm hit it?
I have to confess...I've started a thousand projects around here, and about 999 of them still seem 'under construction'.
I should accept it. I have a problem. Actually many, but I'll start with this one and see if I can find closure with it.
I peg myself as really good at coming up with ideas. I have journals and sheets and post it notes collected with a bunch of random ideas. These can be related to business, the house, relationships, professional development, investments, blah blah blah. Most of my ideas are bad. However, I believe that while coming up with many poor ideas...and documenting them...I'm bound to come up with a good one here and there. It's almost like I come up with 99 bad ideas for every one diamond in the rough. It's a low shooting percentage but hey, if you don't shoot you can't score.
Matilda comes up with the best ideas |
I do feel strongly about documenting by the way. If you don't put your thoughts and ideas and goals down on paper, or somewhere digitally, they'll just float around in your head, and possible float out of your head for good. Once you put them somewhere, you can make space in your head for developing that idea or adding interest to it...or coming up with another one. Find yourself a cool journal, even a good expensive one. It's investing in your own brain/goals/ideas. And it will encourage you to put good use to it, and hold value in your own beliefs.
Closing the deal |
So I'm good with all that stuff. My interests are many. I'm quick to jump into things and just try something. I love learning anything new. However...I'm not good with following the practice of the phrase, 'Always Be Closing'. This phrase is from the 1992 drama film called Glengarry Glen Ross, in which the character played by Alec Baldwin encourages some of the other characters to close deals within their sales work. Watch out for bad language, but here is a great clip from the movie. Look...it's a very shallow message in regards to simply making more money above all else, and disregarding things like being a good dad, or being kind. However, it struck a chord with me in how it can relate to the idea of completing something. And this is what I have trouble with. As I said, I can start a bunch of projects. But I never seem to finish many of them.
Finishing touches |
This weekend, I had a task that I wanted to complete. The ramps in my landscape trailer have to be lifted in and mounted to the inside walls for transportation. Well, I've always had this crap system of a cheap eye-hook and bungee chords to hold them in place. Boring I know...bear with me. This system has bothered me for about 5 years. I can't believe that! I've spoken about it, wrote down ideas, sworn at it many times...but never really done anything about it. Well on Saturday night and into Sunday morning, I came up with a plan, went to the hardware store for materials, and put in a new ramp mounting system. It was actually pretty easy! On Sunday, I found myself putting all of my tools back in their proper place, sweeping up the garage floor of all debris, and wiping down my workbench with a cleaner and paper towels. I suddenly thought, 'Oh my...I've actually completed something, and I'm in the very final stage of cleaning up the mess associated with it. I never do this!' I'm telling you...it felt so good. I immediately thought about 'Always Be Closing', and the benefits related to that. I thought about Casey Neistat, and how he has those words tattooed on his arm. He actually dedicated an entire Vlog to this idea. Watch it here!
Harvesting is 'closing' |
Closing leads to you feeling much more productive.
Closing frees up space in your head for other, more important ideas.
Closing encourages intellect and hard work over complaining and hoping.
Closing leads to more appreciation instead of expectation.
Don't be a loser...be a closer!
We completed another dance season...and this is me as a proud Dad! |
Organization
A.B.C. totally relates to keeping our lives organized too. This is an area that I struggle with, and one that I'll be putting some more focus into. When you come home...with a bunch of things in your hands...maybe a bag or two...and pockets full of receipts and change and hair clips (for some reason, I always find myself here)...do you put everything away in it's designated spot? What I usually do is pile it onto my dining room table. It's flat, easy to access, and I won't need the table until about 5:30pm. That's not closing. That's losing! The worst is when I've put together a nice dinner and I go to bring plates to the table for Matilda and I, to find my loser pile in the way. Worst!
I do have all of the designated places for things. I have a file cabinet with nicely labeled folders, a piggy bank in the living room, a cup in the bathroom for Matilda's hair clips. I just don't follow that step of putting things directly into their proper place. And this is key. If you hired someone to come 'organize your house' or your life, a main thread would be to immediately place things into their position. Put them in their home. Look at your computer desk, your kitchen counters, the desktop on your computer...even your email inbox. Are you organized? I've started trying to get to a totally empty email inbox as often as possible. This entails creating simple folders, unsubscribing from all of the crap, deleting as soon as possible, and once a day, taking care of pertinent messages. It relieves so much stress for me to have a clean slate. But I need to work on the more 'physical' areas of my life...and organize those. I want to finish more projects on my to do list...not just start them. I don't want to be a loser anymore...I want to be a closer! Please comment if you've found effective ways of 'closing' in your own life.
Thoughts are great...but action leads to closing! |
Music: Blind Pilot is an Oregon based band. They use interesting instruments like a mountain dulcimer, vibraphone, and a harmonium. Here's a great one called New York.
If you like what you've read, please use the 'follow by email' bar below. I appreciate you reading!
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